I love yoga. Everytime I go to a class, I am so glad to be there. I never, ever regret it. Ever.
So, why is it that a few hours ahead of time I try to back out and convince myself not to go?
This happens at least once a week. Often, I am successful at convincing myself not to go.
What gives?
I usually tell myself that I have more important things to do. Usually stuff for work.
I classify yoga time as "unproductive" since I'm not getting anything done from my To Do list.
It is blatantly false that time spent at yoga is unproductive for me.
False. False. False.
Exhibit A:
Every time I go to yoga, I work through something that has been on my mind or I get some useful information about myself. Often times I leave with a new idea or thought. Also, I am calmer and more focused and more productive in my work afterward ... even a day after.
I know it to be true that it is always good for me to go to yoga.
So what's the deal with my resistance to going? I guess there is some part of me that doesn't believe? I am really clueless as to what the problem could be. Here goes a completely off-the-top-of-my-head brainstorm of possibilities.
I (maybe) resist going because:
- I'm afraid I'll find out something bad, or something I don't like about myself
- yoga brings change and I am afraid of what the change will be
- others will judge my yoga time use as "wasteful"
- there is discomfort when I compare myself / poses to what others in the room can do
- it is awkward to make small talk in the lobby
- outsider syndrome
I don't have any sort of answer at the moment. I'm just putting it all out there.
Maybe during yoga tonight I'll come up with something :)
I think it has to do with the fact that the reinforcement is not immediate...after you convince yourself to go, you're not reinforced for this decision until the class starts, at the very earliest. I think of it like brushing your teeth...I sometimes want to skip it and go straight to bed, and I won't be negatively reinforced for that decision until many months later when I get a cavity, or conversely, I won't be positively reinforced by the decision to always brush my teeth until many months later. I'm sure there's a highly technical psychology term for it but I can't remember.
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